Meeting People who are Deaf
How to find and meet Deaf people.
A student asks: How do I meet Deaf people?
Answer: Go to where they are and introduce your self. (Obvious eh?)
Which brings up other questions:
Where can I find Deaf people?
If you are taking an in-person, local ASL class, your instructor should be able to tell you where Deaf people hang out. If your instructor isn't able to tell you where they hang out, ask him if he recently moved to the area. If he has lived in your area for a long time and doesn't know where Deaf people hang out...you need to find a different instructor! It is quite possible though that there aren't many Deaf people around if you are taking a class in a small town or farm area. Deaf people have traditionally moved to or near larger cities so that they can be around other Deaf. Way back in the 1980's there was a statistic floating around that over half the Deaf people in the United States live in southern California. (Email me if you find any recent statistics.) And while I'm sure that percentage is no longer the case (if it ever was) there is no doubt that most Deaf people prefer to live in areas where there are plenty of other Deaf people.
Check the local Deaf news. (Most large Deaf communities have some sort of online newsletter).
Do an internet search: +Deaf +Association (Use various combinations of words until you tie into information for your area.
If you know a Deaf person, ask him or her where to find other Deaf people.
Ask an interpreter. Most interpreters are aware of at least a few Deaf events in their city.Contact your state's department of Deaf services (whatever title) and ask about programs for the Deaf.
In a message dated 6/21/2005 3:14:43 PM Pacific Daylight Time, HayatesGurl@___.com writes:Hi Dr. Vicars,My name is Ashley and I know some signs but not a lot and your site is helpful but the problem is I can't remember all of them. I don't have any Deaf friends or any Deaf people in my school or my town ,that I know of, to talk to. I was wondering if there was a way that I could find people to talk to so I can get better at signing. Please help.Thanks,AshleyAshley,One idea that I've found quite helpful for locating Deaf people is to google the name of your city and the word "Deaf" and then click "search." You can also type the name of your state and the word "Deaf" and see what you get.
Dr. Bill
When you meet someone in the Deaf community you are going to want to tell him your connection. I recommend something like:
EXAMPLE: Hi, I'm Larry Jordan. I'm taking ASL at Yadda High School. My teacher is Bill Vicars. My uncle is Deaf, his name is Michael Bird. (Use ASL)
From that introduction it is clear that your affiliation with the Deaf community is your uncle Mike.
If you don't have a Deaf uncle, perhaps you have a Deaf friend? No luck there either? Then mention the fact that your teacher is Deaf (if he or she is Deaf). If you don't have any of these ties to the community then the default connection is that you are a "sign language student." The more ties you have to the community though, the more things your new Deaf acquaintance will have to discuss with you. Don't be surprised someday when your signing skills have reached a certain level when a Deaf person asks you if you are Deaf.
Most of the time two Deaf people that meet each other for the first time don't have to ask each other if they are Deaf. The know within the first few moments of conversation. They can tell because:
1. They are using ASL in a natural, comfortable, way that is typical of native Deaf signers.
2. They have indicated what Deaf School they attended, (including years of attendance)
3. They have mentioned it if they attended Gallaudet University, (including years of attendance)
Suppose you are a pretty good signer. You go to a Deaf event and you meet Deaf people and you don't mention what Deaf School you went to, you don't mention having gone to Gallaudet, and you don't give some other indication of your hearing status. Chances are someone is going to point blank ask you "Are you Deaf?" Don't feel bad when upon learning that you are not Deaf, he chooses to wander off and find a Deaf person to strike up a conversation with. This isn't a body odor problem. It is a matter of expediency. By that I mean...why would a Deaf person want to spend his time talking to a hearing person when there are so many Deaf people around that went to Deaf Schools, are tied into the Deaf community, and are facing the same issues he is.
If you want respect from the Deaf community you are going to need to earn it. A few weeks of sign language classes isn't going to cut it. Showing up at a few Deaf events isn't going to do it. Many months of showing up, being patient, developing your signing skills, showing respect, and staying humble will eventually open the door for you.
Here is an email from a person first entering the Deaf community:
Hey guess what - today I made and survived First Contact!!! And I just have to "share"...
I went to a Deaf Christian men's prayer breakfast where I didn't know anyone, nada, nobody. 40 guys were there in a big square of tables. Nervous? Yeah baby, I was tight as a drum and sharp as a bowling ball. I didn't remember 1/16 of what I thought I knew. I was temporarily blind to even slow fingerspelling. My mind was too busy going AAHHHH! to think at all, let alone remember anything......I even mixed up "please" and "thank you"!
But you'd have been proud of me. I didn't run.
After an hour I settled down and relaxed and realized I was among kind and patient people. The people I sat between were perfect for me. Both were late deafened, and so interpreted what others said (not always - only when I asked, which was great). They signed and talked to me at the same time so I could begin to see how they were signing the signs I already know. How different they look in actual conversation! The way sign's meld into each other, and are so understated...
And just as you say, each person signs a bit different.
But things got better. I even ended up having a conversation with one guy, Kimm, (no terp in sight) on how his car had been completely stripped by professional thieves! He showed me the pictures. I now know the rather violent sign for "steal". He patiently re-spelled some words three times until I finally got them. ....I think "again" is my favorite sign. :)
I could be rather discouraged. And perhaps I should be. But for some reason I'm not. Rather, I'm kind of excited.
There's a Deaf church meeting tomorrow.... I think I'm going. - Scott M.